Jocelyn’s Journey: A New Opportunity

September 24, 2024

We return from three weeks in France and are totally exhausted and feeling sick, both of us.   Two weeks goes by.  I start feeling better, but Jocelyn does not.  Strangely, her abdomen seems to be swelling.  It is especially strange because over the last year she has lost lots of weight.  Her GP sends her for a CT scan and when that is done, the technician says,  “You need to go to the ER right now.”   She calls me and we meet at the hospital.

We have no idea what is going on, and we spend six hours in the ER.  Finally, they admit us and we spend more time “in the back.”   Eventually, we learn that she has lots of fluid built up inside and needs to have that drained.  Again, we don’t know what is going on.  They tell us that the people who do this procedure don’t do it on the weekends. It is Friday, October 18.   We hang around in the ER till about 10 pm, and with nothing urgent happening, I go home.

When I return the next day, I learn that the “draining” will indeed take place on Saturday morning.   They drain 7 liters of fluid from her.  We still don’t know what this is about, but the scuttlebut around the ER is that this fluid buildup is often a symptom of cancer.  We just wait.

Slowly, things move forward with multiple incidents of specimens not being submitted to pathology or results not being sent to the doctor or other stupid stuff that I guess is just normal for hospital operations.  The fluid was supposed to be submitted to pathology but that did not happen.  Days later when it does happen, the tests are “inconclusive.”   Now the doctor wants a laproscopic biopsy.    Naturally, that procedure is scheduled for her birthday, Thursday, November 7.

They tell us to be at the hospital at 430 pm for a procedure at 630 pm.  We get a call at 3 pm and they tell us to head over now.   So we get there early only to wait around till 7 pm.  She goes in for the biopsy around 730 pm and comes out around 830 pm.   She undergoes full anesthesia, so she has to go to recovery for another hour.  When she comes out around 930 pm ON HER BIRTHDAY, she can hardly walk, but I get her home and resting.  Finally after another day, she recovers from the anesthesia.  After a couple of days, I learn that they drained another 3 liters our of her.

We then start waiting. Nothing can be done till a definitive diagnosis occurs.

(BnJ 1973)

Friday, November 15, 2024

Eight days after the biopsy, we realize that today is the day.  We finally got the diagnosis:   Stage 3 ovarian cancer.

First of three chemo treatments on Nov 20.  That will be an all day affair.

 

Wednesday, November 20, 2024

Here she is, thesilverfox, with the brightest smile ever seen right in the middle of her first chemo therapy session, accompanied by our son, Nicholas.  There were no adverse reactions throughout the whole treatment and it is now four hours after finishing and she is looking and feeling great.  I know there is tomorrow, but for now, we are calling this a “pick six,”   or a “fumble recovery to touchdown,”  or “punt return for TD”   or whatever sports metaphor works for you.  We had a victory today!

We came home; she helped line up my trailers so I could get ready for a gig tomorrow, and then we heated up some great food from good friends, Mike and Jacque Richey  (THAN KS) and we had dinner.

We are simply affirming,

“Jocelyn’s powerful divine spirit is right now flowing through her body and organs, removing and shrinking unwanted cells and restoring vitality and vigor.  That is the truth!”

Thanks for all of your support.  Feel free to SCROLL DOWN and post your comments here in the blog.  (please not on Facebook)

 

November 21, 2024

Prayers?    There are as many different methods to pray as there are people on the planet.  And you know what?  They are all good.  Many of you have offered truly heartfelt comments, written effectively.

However, we all have preferences and Jocelyn and I have been a part of the Unity School of Christianity for over 30 years.   We recently created a very special affirmation (prayer) that she would like you to use when thinking about her or posting in the blog or in your own pages.  For those of you familiar with Unity and Charles Fillmore, you will recognize how we modified his well-known prayer, “I fairly sizzle….”

“Jocelyn fairly sizzles with zeal and enthusiasm and springs forth with a mighty faith to accept the extraordinary and complete healing and renewed vitality that is coming her way today.”

bnj emphasizing the butterfly tattoo and great legs! 2023

 

Sunday, November 24, 2024

Chemo comes home to roost.

The bathroom remodel.

Apologies and protocols,  a visit from Mesa Fire/Medical, and more.

wedding day, 3 25 72

Lots of details today, so hang on tight

First, I want to apologize for not responding to some of you who have sent messages directly to me.   I just can’t respond.   Thesilverfox sometimes requires constant attention, depending on the day.  In the middle of this, I am preparing for 10 performances in December and 3 rehearsals which involve a staff of nine with different musicians having responsibilities on different events.  And of course there is the bathroom remodel.  More on that later. Please accept my apologies and watch your email for a notice of the next update.  If you don’t get an email, then I need you to send yours to me through email, not text.  Thanks

Second, over the last two years we have been talking with our daughter in law, Jennifer, about remodeling our bathrooms.  A few months back, we settled on a plan to do only one remodel.   Work began to find and schedule various contractors for demolition, electrical, plumbing, tile, paint, and all that stuff.   Well, as they say, it is all in the timing.   The contractors all came together at the same time as the fox and I went to the emergency room.

(the original “leg shot” taken inadvertently when I graduated UNO, May 1974)

So as she came home after that first visit, the team arrived and demolished the bath room.   Things are moving along wonderfully, but this job means that there is lots of noise, dirt, and intrusion into our lives at the SAME TIME as we head down this amazing journey.   We have two other bathrooms so we are just fine, but the remodel is a challenging addition to an already challenging situation.

Third: We had a perfect day on Nov 20, the first chemo session, but by Friday Nov 22, the pesky annoyances can home to roost.  Jocelyn developed severe abdominal and joint pain, making her very uncomfortable.  But we are thankful for no nausea.  Friday and Saturday were challenging days.

Fourth: 

Nicholas, our younger son, became a firefighter several years ago with MESA FIRE/MEDICAL.   It is hard for me to describe this experience.   These people are amazing.  They came by the house yesterday just to check on thefox.   I chatted with them about cancer and learned the captain is currently undergoing “maintenance chemo.”  He shared lots of info.  But the amazing thing is simply there presence.
They exude love and concern and strength.  As I looked into their faces, I felt totally protected, respected, and cared for.  If I fell down, they would be there to pick me up.  I just don’t know where I felt this before.  And yesterday’s visit was not the first.  It has happened many times.   Any time I visit Nick at the station, I get treated with the utmost enthusiasm and respect.  One night, Nick called and said he would be dropping by soon.
I went out front and saw the ladder truck turn the corner.  The engineer turned on every single light.  They lt up the neighborhood as the drove to our house.  I later learned that this was a brand new truck on which they had just taken delivery.  I was the first to see it!!!!   It was so much fun.
And I am so proud of Nicholas for his dedication to excellence that he has displayed in this job.  He is very well respected.  The Fox and I are so proud of him for this.
REMEMBER: feel free to post comments right here on the blog (not on Facebook).  Just scroll down to the very bottom and post.

 

Sunday December 1, 2024

BnJ 11 28 24

Pain and more pain

Rashes and subcutaneous bleeding

Good days and bad days

Thanksgiving, family, and the beauty of Arizona

Christmas tree, belly laughing, and a bike ride with the little grandson

We have moved on past the first chemo treatment on November 20.  And many of the very unpleasant predictions are coming true:  great fatigue, abdominal pain, severe joint pain.  Somehow she has dodged any battle with nausea, but in the last 5 days we have been visit by a total body rash, subcutaneous bleeding around the ankles, and severe joint pain.   Somehow in the midst of all this, she rallied for a fabulous Thanksgiving with our entire Arizona family.

Let’s go back to last Sunday, November 24..  The rash begins and very quickly covers almost her entire body.   It creates its own kind of discomfort.  The doctors respond with some kind of oral medication.  Two days go by with no result.  They are shocked.   They quickly discontinue the pills and tell us to apply  basic lotion with triamcinalone cream in equal portions.  Interestingly, I have this cream because my skin is always breaking out.

(from the Tucson era, circa 1977)

Fortunately, this formula works and the rash subsides and she feels strong enough to go to thanksgiving.

Last week I spoke of our son Nicholas and his work as a firefighter and how he is part of our “care team.”

Jacob n Jenn, 2019

 Today, I need to tell you about Jacob (oldest son) and Jenn.  Here is the array of amazing beauty that greeted us at their beautiful home in north central Phoenix.  It is a midcentury domicile…which we love…. but the location is what really is special, as you can see.  We had beautiful weather and delicious dining.  They are an incredible event-planning team, but they are also a critical part of our “care team.”  (more later)    Thanks so very much, Jacob and Jenn.  Thesilverfox and I fell in love with Arizona in 1973, and we never looked back.   You can see why in these pictures taken from their patio.

(Don’t be confused!    I totally agree with the truth: “You can take the boy out of New Orleans, but you can’t take New Orleans out of the boy.”)

So the rash tapered off and we had a great time, but on Friday, the “bad guys” came back.   Her ankles turned almost solid red.  We learned this was not a rash but bleeding below the skin.  And then the join pain started.  We treated this new “redness” with ice and rest, and it has retreated.

On Saturday morning, she felt great again.  She cleaned the kitchen and organized the fridge and freezer, and then on Saturday afternoon, the severe joint pain returned and she was again flat on her back.    Like I said above, “up and down.”

Early in this journey, I asked our oncologist about cannabis products being used to increase appetite, suppress nausea, and relieve pain.  He agreed instantly and recommended we try it if needed.  Well today, when she was so uncomfortable, I ran over to the dispensary and got some RSO oil.   I gave it to her and after about and hour, she rested quietly.

And then we put on Wanda Sykes and laughed our asses off for two and a half hours.  Wow, that is some good medicine.   Her smiling face and hearty belly laugh were the best medicine for me.  I highly recommend that formula:  CANNABIS + WANDA SYKES.  Wanda is irreverent, crude, but always insightful.I really can’t describe how wonderful those two hours were, just laughing our asses off, despite the pain.

We are open to more comedy videos, so please send some links my way.   The laughing is wonderful.

Normally thesilverfox and I assemble and decorate our tree.  It is a major annual project.  That tree has gone through many incarnations: the artificial green tree with elementary school “ornaments,” the real tree, and this most recent one which we started in 2016, the artificial white tree.

Although Friday after Thanksgiving had its real difficulties, Jacob, Jenn, Jamie, and Nicholas came over that afternoon and surprised us by actually putting up OUR tree for us.  That was magical.  My silverfox has always taken great pride in how she decorates for Christmas.  For many years, I have checked lights, climbed ladders, hung special wreaths.   Sometimes, I am referred to as “Sparky Babin,” pictured here.    We are so grateful for our two boys and the wonderful women they have married.

 

“Sparky Babin”

 

                                                                                                                               Nick n Jamie

My final comment for this update is about Barrett, our 7-year-old grandson (Nick and Jamie).  We spent lots of time together for the first five years of his life, but when he started school, he practically disappeared.  That has been hard on both of us.

So our time together is now focused around holidays and school breaks.  About eight months ago, must have been spring break 2024, Barrett and I were riding bikes at a nearby park.  We went to the play / climbing area for something different.  I just let him run wild and don’t provide what a “hovering grandfather” would.   He chose to try the activity in this video.  He got the first rung and as he reached for the second, he fell quite suddenly and hit the ground hard.  He got up, stunned, and chose not to try again.

Now, just a few months later, he did this (video).  He did it completely and perfectly, with no errors, falls, or cheats…..  and then he did it again! (I thought he would be too tired for a second try.  WRONG!!!). This video is his second try.   More amazing things happened on that bike ride, but I’ll have to cover them later.

I add these stories to this blog about a “cancer journey” because I almost can’t believe it is all happening.    The joyous family meal together with games, the trips to the park, the funny movies and standup shows.  But it is all true….. cancer and joy at the same time.   People tell me to stay positive and I share the stories because I think we are on the right track.  For now, remember.

Cherish your spouse, children, and grandchildren

Make plans to be together.

Control and reduce screen time, the great destroyer of family life. 

Express your love with words, gestures, smiles, and gifts. 

Do not assume that they “know how you feel.”  Put it out there.

Peace and love my friends.  

And PLEASE COMMENT by scrolling down to the very bottom here and post.  Do not post on facebook, please.  And if you know someone who wants to be on the email list, please send that person’s contact or post it in comments below.    Thank you.

 

 

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Sunday, December 15, 2024

BnJ at wedding of Horton & Joan, Tucson (1980)

How to help

I think the most obvious answer to this question is to SEND WRITTEN PRAYERS or AUDIO / VIDEO MESSAGES.    We are doing well with support getting Jocelyn to and from appointments and treatments.  But the emotional battle is a real one.   When she gets an inspiring message from any of you, it lifts her up.  And because this journey will be a long one, she needs lots of positive comments like….

We behold the great spirit in your beautiful face!

The holy spirit lives in you as healing and hope.

You are a child of god.  You do not inherit sickness.

And here’s one Jocelyn and I have been working on:

The great spirit is right now surrounding and filling Jocelyn with a peace which surpasses human understanding.  There is no explanation for it.  There is no logic to it.  It simply is! That peace uplifts and empowers her to release any and all hurt, anger, disappointment, or frustration linked to any person, event, place, or circumstance.  She has let go of that toxic stuff.   Peace and joy reign supreme.  That is the truth!

I don’t expect you to write like that.  I’m just saying: try to affirm truth for her.  That truth is health, vitality, energy, so just saying :   “Jocelyn is vitally alive and healthy”…. is a great message.

And if you would like more help with this form of prayer, often called “denial / affirmation,”  please refer to this great book by Linda Martella-Whitsett, HOW TO PRAY WITHOUT TALKING TO GOD.  Great book!!

As always, post these messages right here in the blog or you can try sending FB message or email.

Recent events

Well, the rashes and pain from chemo #1 have finally subsided.  We have had a few good days, as pictured above at PF Chang’s.   But her hair is really disappearing quickly.    She got her “port” installed on Mon Dec 9. This device enables her to give blood and receive drugs and fluids without further “poking” to find veins.    She has had consultations with an allergist and her oncologist about the bad reaction she had to chemo #1.   Looks like they are developing a preventive plan for chemo #2, scheduled for Mon Dec 16.  We will see.

As for my own condition about which some of you have inquired.  This is a difficult and long journey.   We are only about two months down the road so I am continually adapting and keeping a smile.  I, too, appreciate your support and love.  Thank you!

 

How the blog works

1. as I have said, I apologize for not responding to private messages / texts / emails.  I do not mean to be rude.  There is just too much going on.  So I am trying to put all info in the blog
2. please comment right here at the end of the blog.  I look at it daily.  She will see what you have written.
3. I’m trying to publish weekly, but as you can see, it has been two weeks since my last post.  Please be patient.
4. Share email addresses for those that you know who might be interested in Jocelyn’s story.  (Thank you, Pam, for sending me the bowling friends emails.)
5. Thank you very much.

 

bnj 2019

 

Friday, January 3, 2025

(the babin’s 1997)

Recent Events

So the investigation into Jocelyn’s reaction to Chemo #1 has continued.  We met with an allergist and there was some “doctor to doctor” discussions and they hatched a plan for chemo #2 which happened on November 20.  They pumped her full of some new preparatory drugs and took more time to administer the entire dose.

And it seems to have worked!!!!  She had no funny heart beats during the treatment and it has now been over two weeks and she has had no rashes and very little joint pain.   It is not perfect but so much better than chemo #1.   She feels good, but still has intestinal issues and lots of fatigue.

(Christmas 24)

And of course the latest development has been a totally new look on her head.   I must admit that when she first started loosing her hair,  I had a really hard time with it.   I felt like something really important has been lost, an important part of the woman I have loved for so long.

But Jocelyn prepared for the loss of her hair, and she has embraced a whole new wardrobe for her head.  And I really like it.  This pic is how we looked during our family Christmas gathering.  As we move forward, I’ll snap more pics.

She has been experimenting not only with the head covering itself, but also with accessories like tiaras and other things with stars or fleur de leis on them.  They are really cute.

As of January 3, Jocelyn has been feeling very well.   She’s getting some housework done, visiting with friends, and going out to dinner.  She’s got a little more energy also.

The bath remodel

Earlier I had mentioned our terrible timing with the total bath remodel happening at the same time as Jocelyn’s diagnosis and the biggest holidays of the year!   Well, it’s all done now and thesilverfox has a beautiful walk-in shower to enjoy.   I still have my soaking tub and we are happy home owners.

The real praise goes to #1 son Jacob and daughter in law Jennifer who served as general contractors and also did a lot of the work.

 

They pulled out everything, down to the studs.  Removed the floor; repaired toilet plumbing; rerouted shower plumbing, moved electrical, and then put in all new fixtures, tile, vanity, and countertop.

And to make it all even more fun, those beautiful shower doors arrived BROKEN, before Christmas.  They had to be reordered and Jacob and Jen got them installed after Christmas.  Whew!!!!  It does look great and it functions super!!!!  (Don’t rest!  There might be an update showing progress on the remodel of our family room downstairs.)

Upcoming

Tues Jan 7…. bloodwork to prep for chemo #3

Wed Jan 8…. consultation at Mayo Clinic with oncologist, working on 2nd opinion

Thur Jan 9… Chemo #3

Mon Jan 20… CT scan to analyze the tumors after chemo

Tues Jan 28… consultation with oncologist from CITY OF HOPE, the base for our treatments

Wednesday, January 29, 2025

In front of our Mardi Gras Tree!!  Have you got one??

 

Naturally, she’s got to practice her “mardi gras manners.”   Do you????

Sunday, Jan 25..  we look good in black.

Having the best Mexican food with Debbie, Jocelyn’s sister, and her husband, Marty.

I think we also had margaritas…. yummmmmmm

 

Wed Jan 8…. consultation at Mayo Clinic with oncologist and with Mayo allergist.  Both went very well.

Thur Jan 9… Chemo #3     Went almost uneventful.  We are continuing to ice her hands and feet to prevent neuropathy.  However, despite our efforts, she still has some symptoms.

In her own words:

I’m better today.  I feel like i am on an upswing.  I got the diahhrea under control for the time being.  I’d rather have diahrea than constipation.  My taste is still not normal.  Missing lots of flavors.   I get tired.  Yesterday, I just took a 2-hour nap.  That was really helpful.   Nick spent the morning with me yesterday.  He called his buddies at Mesa Fire Medical and they came over and gave me a bag of fluids.  He used to work with this station which is just a 1/2 mile from our house.  He know everyone there on all three shifts, so I got some good saline.  They are so kind and considerate.  and assured me they were “just a call away at any time.”   I am so grateful they are a part of our team.  They have embraced Bill and I so totally.  It seems like we have our own private “rescue team” at our immediate disposal.  So wonderful, and another blessing on this journey.    Fatigue contiues to be an issue, but I still went to Walmart with my friend, Shelley, yesterday.   Amazing, a trip to Walmart is now a big deal!!!

Moving to a new doctor

A few weeks back, we started the process of a “second opinion.”   As of today, we are moving all of my care to Mayo Clinic Scottsdale.   Because Mayo is a true “clinic,” everything that happens is “under one roof.”  That means that there is much better communication between oncology, surgery, allergist, blood testing, all scans—everything.   There is no more asking permission for one office to release info to another office.   The surgeon–and anyone else on the team– can look directly at the notes from the allergist or from the latest CT scan without getting approval.  This seems simple but when you are in “cancer care” there are a lot of things going on and having all of them directly connected makes our journey more smoothe.

Jocelyn’s thoughts on your comments:

All of these comments warm my heart and uplifts me.  I continue to have a positive outlook and it thrills me to see that people feel the same way. I choose only to expect the best outcome and I want everyone to affirm that as well.  It is such a blessing that these comments come from so many different places and different times in my life, all the way back to life on “Taft Park and Grace King high school” and up to our present days in Arizona, from both family and dear friends.   Thank you.  

Upcoming

Jan 22:  CT scan at Mayo, to evaluate the status of the tumor and help with a decision about surgery and future treatment.

Jan 27-Feb 1:   Debbie and Marty come to visit.  Yeh!!!   That’s three weeks from last chemo so I hope to be feeling good!

Jan 29: consultation with cancer surgeon at Mayo.

Jan 31: family gathering at Jacob and Jenn’s.  Yippeee

Peace and love to you all!